doctor_ray (doctorray) wrote,

In Which I Achieve Some Perspective

I am, dear reader, a 255-pound person. 

Over the past several months  I've been down as low as 248, and I've been up as high as 262, but I've really been sitting in that range for a couple years now.  Last January I thought I should drop my weight down to about 240, which is what I weighed in college.  But try as I might, I couldn't get down below 248 ,and even then I'd bounce back up to the low 250s after a day or two.  I started obsessing about what I ate, worrying about missing a workout, trying to get cardio work in every day just so that scale number would stay where it was, or dip a couple pounds.

But I had a realization a few days ago.  It's not working.  And really, why shoudl I care?  I wear the same size pants as I wore in college, when I was 15 pounds lighter.  I lift weights regularly, I run regularly, and I would venture to say that I'm in better shape than most guys in their early 40s.  And my wife thinks I look great.

So rather than make myself unhappy trying to become something I'm not, I'm going to take pride in what I am - somebody who still fits into the same sized pants he wore in college, who is in good shape, and who has actaully gotten stronger over the past year while staying at about the same body weight. 

I think that sounds pretty darn good if you ask me.  So when I get on the scale and it give me a number somewhere in the mid-250s, I'm not going to cringe anymore and lament that I can't get down to some ideal weight.  I"m gonig to just nod a bit and be happy.

And oh yeah, I think I"m going to play in a handful of rugby games this year.  The bug has bitten me again.  So I'm an 18-stone prop, give or take a couple pounds.  That's what I am.
Tags: life events, rugby

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